To myself

It's OK to be nervous. It's OK to feel anxious.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. It matters how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself.

It's going to be all right. Things will work out. You are loved and cared for, you are not a hard person to love at all; in fact, you are easy to love.

When you make a mistake, it's because you are human. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone says or does the wrong thing at some point, and you are no exception.

It's OK to feel sad about a mistake, but when you make one, remember that you are human. You are not required to be perfect, even though you interpret the Bible as saying you have to be.

It's also OK to feel shy and insecure. Some situations just aren't that fun, and feeling uncomfortable is understandable. You can be kind and courteous anyway. You don't have to feel ashamed for wanting to be by yourself and sit in a quiet room to read or write. That's a part of who you are.

You can honor your introverted nature by listening when your inner voice tells you that you need to be alone.

When you feel anxious around a certain person, pay attention and don't discount your feelings. Recognize that you don't feel safe and protect your heart. You can still be thoughtful and engaging without divulging too much of yourself. You can let trusted friends hear your deepest thoughts; you don't have let everyone see your private world. You don't have to like everyone, and you don't need everyone's approval.

Showing yourself kindness is the best way to motivate yourself.

Your life is yours to live. You get to choose how you spend your time and your money. You get to choose where you live, what clothes you wear, what books you read, and what you eat.

When making a decision, what's most important is that it feels right, that your inner self concurs. It's important to nurture your inner thoughts and feelings. Don't try to run away from your feelings by eating or watching hours of TV. Instead, take a deep breath. Write if you need to. Have the courage to face reality.

You wish your mother would have taught you these things, but she couldn't. Accept your grief, honor your loss. And remember, you don't have to take care of her. She is not your responsibility. You were her responsibility, and she mothered you wrongly. She wanted to keep you close instead of letting you go free. She wanted to hang onto you because she was afraid of feeling alone.

Now you have the responsibility of mothering yourself, of giving yourself comfort, of telling yourself that you don't need to be afraid. You can do it. You can take deep breaths and make good decisions. You can surround yourself with people who show you kindness, who give you support and care.

But most of all, you can take care of yourself. If you want to move to a different city, save up your money and move. If you want to write, take the time and space to make it happen.

Listen to who you are. Listen when your inner voice needs rest.

Let yourself be yourself. You matter.